, , , , , ,

So first off, I should perhaps explain myself with this post’s title.  Let me begin by saying it’s not going to be as negative as that title would suggest.  I apologize for the “clickbaity” titling, but it was the best sort of title I could come up with for this edition of my blog.  Despite my long absence from this writing, I am not going anywhere.

“You believe what happened when I took a shit!”

I’d been diverted by a few things of recent–mostly personal stuffs that I won’t bother to bore anyone with here, but also with driven and fervent focus on Final Fantasy XIV’s next expansion, Heavensward.  I’ve also been playing a bunch of games and been watching older anime with my husband, so that’s been fun.

What I will expound upon, however, is the sense I had of malaise regarding this blog, what led to my procrastination, and ultimately what brought me towards a sense of wanting to write once again.

I had stated that I wasn’t expecting this sort of thing to really take off or go anywhere, but I also will have to regrettably admit that the level of engagement on some of my postings was less than I had anticipated.  I love to write for writing’s sake, but once in a while a nod of knowing that people were looking and were enjoying what I was doing.  I like to entertain folks and make them feel good, I can’t help it.

And so it was that I hung up the writing hat for a little bit….but after doing so I sort of felt this part of myself missing.  For a while it was blanked or otherwise easy to ignore as I got myself fully invested in stuff related to XIV’s expansion, but then the want to write sort of…crept up on me.  I was coming up with ideas that were tickling the back of my brain, but I never really followed through due to the aforementioned malaise.

Then, much like a person who was down at his lowest moment, I was propped up by some of my personal writing superheroes.

The slings and arrows of doubt, rage-punched by the confident.

It was innocuous enough–a mention during a Twitter weekly thing that happened apparently known as Follow Friday, where one Daley Kong gave me a little nod.  And then there was the continued writing of others I follow like Ironweakness and Syp and even occasional-posting lovely folks like Kelzam and DirtyKlingon.

Little by little I was reminded about those ideas and the need for writing.  I re-perused past articles of folks I look up to and respect like MJ Guthrie and Brianna Royce, and marveling at those who keep up so much pace like Eliot Lefebvre.

Finally, just this morning, one of my all-time favorite columnists reminded me what the point actually is.

This fired me up more than I think Mr. McKinney can fully appreciate.  It brought me back to the state of mind I was when I first decided to do this thing.  And the little gremlin that was nibbling at the back of my mind transformed into a pudding creature, wrapping itself around my brain and commanding my fingers to type.

So, here I am.  And here I will be.

The frequency of my posts is probably not going to be a scheduled…er…schedule, but I do plan on devoting my time off to my writing.  It’s for me as much as it is for you, and I hope that you all will enjoy and continue to enjoy, even if I start to repeat or re-post myself a few times over.  I missed the sensation of getting words on digital page, and it’s so much healthier for me to do this thing than have the awful feeling of ideas not released ruin my mood.

I love you all, is basically what I’m trying to say.