My 2015, personally, didn’t see a whole lot of big change overall. I still work at the same job, though I did get a promotion to a supervisor. I’m now in my own apartment, which is a pretty big change but ultimately not too terribly amazing in the grand scheme.
I think the largest change in my personal life is being married. Which is a big deal to anyone…but being married to another man has been a whirlwind.
I say this because of two things. The first, of course, being the man himself. A Welshman who I met online during a casting call for a vocal production I was putting together. Someone who piqued my interest almost instantly because, if I’m honest, he has an amazing accent…but ultimately charmed me beyond that.
I like to believe I had a similar effect, since he actually flew over to visit and then ultimately decided to make his home here in the States. As a person who never traveled before, that is pretty telling and sort of astounding that he’d be willing to do that.
As a matter of fact, I still don’t get what I’ve done to make him feel as he does. I’m nobody. I’m barely anything to look at, and I hold almost no physical attraction whatsoever. Still, he’s here. And I’m with him and it’s kind of astonishing.
Second, I’m actually allowed to marry him. It’s legal. It’s something that’s taken for granted so much that entire sitcoms are written around how the institution of marriage is nothing but misery.
You don’t get it, then, writers of sitcoms.
I mean, yea, sure, there’s moments where it’s hard to live with another person and bind yourself to every little stupid thing they’re capable of. You see all the little fissures and cracks in the veneer. My husband does shit that drives me absolutely batty, and I’m sure there are more than a few days where he wants to ram my face in to a wall when I get on his case about stuff.
But you work through it together and enjoy the menial, boring shit together because fuck you that’s how a partnership works. Businesses glom people who would otherwise never know each other to operate a service or produce a product. Marriage is the same way, except the product is love.
This year, I was able to get married. Not civil union’ed or contractually allowed. Married. I don’t know how long we’ll be allowed to, because there still feels like a war on our life…but we’re gonna make it happen. Through our different gaming habits or shared gaming loves or crappy apartment with toilet that only refills when you bop the tank or stupid arguments or moments of snuggling or dealing with our respective jobs and complaints or learning how to make cocktails, we’re gonna make it happen.