PAX East and Aspiration

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aspiration, con, convention, coverage, gaming press, media, mmogames, motivation, pax, pax east, writing

So this weekend prior, I was in Boston attending my first-ever con in PAX East, providing coverage for MMOGames. It was a whirlwind – a far busier experience than I had first supposed. For about eight hours each day of that weekend, I was darting around the show floor or some nearby locations, making appointments, playing games, talking to devs and otherwise living a second life.

Now that it’s all over and done with, and the coverage has ended, and I’m back in my office job’s chair…I don’t know that I want to do anything else.

This is all going to sound…well…noobish. I know that at least a couple of professional game journalists read this blog and they might shrug absently at this post. Or maybe they’ll smile knowingly and nod. I dunno. But I was embroiled in gaming for a full three straight days and cranking out around 15 articles.

That was just a taste. And I’m hungry for more of it.

….yes, even all of this.

Of course, this is all under the assumption that my editors liked the job I did. I assume silence is a good thing, and I have a wonderful relationship with the editorial staff at MMOGames. With everyone there, in fact. So with that said, having been at a place like PAX East, I now find myself desperate to do more in this field. To learn more and to grow and to hopefully provide enjoyable and meaningful stuff for people to read. I don’t think I’ll be an Eliot Lefebvre, but I shook the man’s hand, and that offered me a sense of legitimacy that is hard to describe. Or perhaps I’m reading between lines that aren’t there, I dunno…but the whole experience affirmed my decision to start writing about gaming.

There are, of course, a few things about this freelance writing thing I was not anticipating. For one, the amount of time I have to myself to play games I’m not obligated to is smaller than ever before…which sounds like the douchiest of first-world problems, but it is something I feel. Also, finding time to balance this blog, my “real job” and my “side job” is still a tap dance I’m yet to ultimately master, and I worry that the quality of one of those three things will drop. There’s pressure and stress and worry…but there’s no doubt. Or at least very little of it.

Basically I’m easily distracted…but in my defense, look at all of that!

PAX East was beyond anything I could have asked for. It was loud yet not uncomfortable. Celebratory and in your face and a pain to maneuver and foot-destroying. And Boston was the sort of city environment that I could dig – a place where I could walk about three or four blocks and find something to eat or a place to hang out. It was the most electric and embarrassing and worrying and thrilling thing I have ever done. And I got to share it with people.

I can’t thank enough MMOGames for kicking me out there. I can’t thank enough those who spent time with me and talked to me about their games, even if they were obligated by appointment to. And I can’t thank enough those who read for energizing the whole thing and making me realize  how badly I want this.

Oh I’ll be back, so help me…